tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17870231531908090752024-03-13T15:22:02.981-07:00Crap And Crapability/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.comBlogger385125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-31427517515783829332010-07-13T09:15:00.001-07:002010-07-13T09:15:09.751-07:00What happens when you translate word by word<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1SQJeoZQ8Dg9r7UwwBHROx6VJuxV3Cr5GS2hbWqum2EjvEcG5xB-ZSTUyuYAUDSuVddDt8CdLWVgGpzItykLqeCjBbQ1oKqlm9CuekUF6pMjlFVVAf56n_f4bOdDz5imylrC-IB6UwDc/s1600/Italian-English.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1SQJeoZQ8Dg9r7UwwBHROx6VJuxV3Cr5GS2hbWqum2EjvEcG5xB-ZSTUyuYAUDSuVddDt8CdLWVgGpzItykLqeCjBbQ1oKqlm9CuekUF6pMjlFVVAf56n_f4bOdDz5imylrC-IB6UwDc/s320/Italian-English.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-4310605504637694472010-04-29T02:51:00.001-07:002010-04-29T02:51:22.721-07:00New street sign<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDn-18M6cXpUyM75BCiUosAPIW4FsnPfegK68LEkz47OugM8z4hVp-vnZ8d0aQMm3y5UHblIbMv2W5iu-J33CyAHlnyuoShL26ZFC5pXUzJN7wHqW5OVc7sCGReAWGXucGu3EwB6HWYT8/s1600/ChurchWarning.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDn-18M6cXpUyM75BCiUosAPIW4FsnPfegK68LEkz47OugM8z4hVp-vnZ8d0aQMm3y5UHblIbMv2W5iu-J33CyAHlnyuoShL26ZFC5pXUzJN7wHqW5OVc7sCGReAWGXucGu3EwB6HWYT8/s320/ChurchWarning.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-78514722456129919842009-10-27T18:59:00.000-07:002010-03-21T02:37:43.855-07:004974.aspx<h3>Pig flu</h3><span style="font-family: Courier New; font-size: x-small;"></span> <img src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/65/o_pig_flu.jpg" />/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-50055505755193610092009-09-18T17:27:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.566-07:004959.aspx<h3>From the inbox: Dear God [in Italian]</h3> <P>Allora caro Dio, ripeto, <BR>la prima volta ti ho pregato di eliminare quello brutto, rifatto e che va con le ragazzine:<BR>e mi fai fuori Michael Jackson.</P><br /><P>Ora ti chiedo, per essere sicuro, quello basso e con i capelli finti che ha inventato la tv commerciale <BR>e mi fai fuori Mike Bongiorno…</P><br /><P>la prossima volta ti porto una foto</P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-29333730315486735802009-09-09T19:50:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.555-07:004954.aspx<h3>Balcony fail in Canazei</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/65/r_BalconyFail.jpg"></IMG>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-20723742853364772902008-08-29T14:30:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.531-07:004711.aspx<h3>Michelangelo's "David" returns to Europe after a brief stay in America...</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/r_Michelangelo-David.jpg">/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-30387287657731808352008-08-29T10:14:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.548-07:004728.aspx<h3>Childhood picture of Michael Phelps</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/r_MichaelPhelps.jpg">/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-91838392003267666812008-08-22T19:50:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.540-07:004727.aspx<h3>Not all kids are beautiful</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/r_troll.jpg">/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-43364403228272916262008-06-02T14:50:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.524-07:004659.aspx<h3>Quick Quiz</h3> <P>In which direction does the bus move?</P><br /><P><IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/r_bus.jpg"></P><br /><P>Difficult to say right? Look at the image one more time and see if you can find the answer. </P><br /><P>The same question has been asked to kids attending kindergarten. 90% of them gave the answer: <BR>“The bus goes to the left“</P><br /><P>Why?<BR>“Because you cannot see the door where you enter the bus“</P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-84341121283430128502008-05-30T14:30:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.515-07:004658.aspx<h3>Google search for Juventus</h3> <P><IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/r_juventus_mer.jpg"></P><br /><P>via <A href="http://punto-informatico.it/p.aspx?i=2094856">Punto informatico</A></P><br /><P>Thanks for the tip <A href="http://bordoni.dyndns.org/">Michele</A></P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-19057714277640987152008-04-23T20:30:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.502-07:004627.aspx<h3>EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS</h3> <P>1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her under-wear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs — and I was in the wrong one. </P><br /><P>Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco </P><br /><P>2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient. </P><br /><P>Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA </P><br /><P>3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.' </P><br /><P>Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg </P><br /><P>4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. </P><br /><P>Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA </P><br /><P>5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered, 'Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive.' </P><br /><P>Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR </P><br /><P>6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast this morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.' </P><br /><P>Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI </P><br /><P>7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.' </P><br /><P>Submitted by RN no name </P><br /><P>AND FINALLY!!!................ </P><br /><P>8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'. </P><br /><P>Dr. wouldn't submit his name</P><br /><P>Via <A href="http://www.snopes.com/medical/emergent/exams.asp">snopes</A></P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-77171086401552985272008-04-11T00:12:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.493-07:004614.aspx<h3>Get ready...</h3> <P>Italian elections this weekend;</P><br /><P><IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/o_ItalianElections.jpg"></P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-18097924346415223282008-04-08T23:30:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.484-07:004610.aspx<h3>Napoletone won at Waterlo</h3> <P>At least that's what Telecom Italia thinks:</P><br /><P><br /><OBJECT height=355 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/DaAAWW4QLP0&hl=en"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DaAAWW4QLP0&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></OBJECT></P><br /><P>I guess Napole<STRONG>t</STRONG>on must have been a brother of Napoleon which explains why he won in Waterl<STRONG>o</STRONG>o :-)</P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-83238468957878866092008-03-24T14:47:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.477-07:004591.aspx<h3>Surprisingly strong</h3> <OBJECT height=355 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/aZ-fyst4-7w&hl=en"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aZ-fyst4-7w&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></OBJECT>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-43178474502179926812008-03-18T16:00:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:50:04.466-07:004586.aspx<h3>Where do you go for your answers?</h3> <P><IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/r_YourAnswers.jpeg"></P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-19880574757210412042008-02-28T21:26:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.447-07:004575.aspx<h3>Carlsberg & Mentos</h3> <P>Not <a href="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9vk4_2xboOE">Coke and Mentos</a> but...</P><br /><P><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MAcc8CPhlO4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MAcc8CPhlO4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object></P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-20713239962624673602008-02-28T21:14:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.428-07:004573.aspx<h3>Wii Fit?</h3> <OBJECT height=355 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/_iYBmAVuBns&rel=1"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_iYBmAVuBns&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></OBJECT>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-17814022366348361072008-02-20T21:58:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.407-07:004568.aspx<h3>Don't smoke around Germans</h3> <P>They use pretty extreme methods to <A href="http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL1964100220080219?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews">extinguish </A>the cigarettes:</P><br /><BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"><br /><P>A virulent anti-smoker in Germany was so angry when his girlfriend lit up he emptied a fire extinguisher to put out the cigarette, caking her and their apartment in powder.</P></BLOCKQUOTE>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-86749422782675648692008-02-19T09:01:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.394-07:004562.aspx<h3>Italian boy's confession</h3> <P>“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl".<BR>The Priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"</P><br /><P>"Yes, Father, it is."</P><br /><P>"And who was the girl you were with?"<BR>"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."<BR>"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"<BR>"I cannot say."<BR>"Was it Teresa Volpe?"<BR>"I'll never tell."<BR>"Was it Nina Capelli?"<BR>"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."<BR>"Was it Cathy Piriano?"<BR>"My lips are sealed."<BR>"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"<BR>"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."</P><br /><P>The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.<BR>You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."</P><br /><P>Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over<BR>And whispers, "What'd you get?"</P><br /><P>"4 months vacation and five good leads."</P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-52802896363375769572008-02-18T07:57:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.376-07:004560.aspx<h3>Viva la ....</h3> <P>No question what <A href="http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Strada+dei+Campi,+34072+Gorizia,+Friuli-Venezia+Giulia,+Italy&sll=42.940339,23.027344&sspn=89.081469,106.171875&ie=UTF8&cd=3&geocode=0,45.910314,13.506718&ll=45.910317,13.506714&spn=0.005382,0.00648&t=h&z=17&om=0">this farmer thinks</A>:<BR><IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/60/o_VivaLa.jpg"></P><br /><P> </P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-68463908518159505932007-12-04T13:45:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.361-07:004498.aspx<h3>Training courses now available for women</h3> <P>1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where no Woman has gone before. <BR>2. Parties: Going without new outfits <BR>3. Man Management: Discover how minor household chores can wait until after the football game. <BR>4. Communication Skills 1: Tears - The last resort, not the first <BR>5. Communication Skills 2: Thinking before speaking <BR>6. Communication Skills 3: Getting What you Want, Without Nagging <BR>7. Party Etiquette: Drinking your fair share <BR>8. Telephone Skills: How to hang up <BR>9. Introduction to Parking <BR>10. Introduction to Petrol <BR>11. Advanced Parking: Reversing into a space <BR>12. Advanced Petrol: How to take the filler cap off <BR>13. Water retention: Fact or Fat <BR>14. Cooking 1: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption <BR>15. Cooking 2: How Not to Inflict Your Diet on other people <BR>16. PMT: Your Problem...Not His <BR>17. Dancing: Sober Men Don't Like To <BR>18. Sex - It's for the Married Couple too <BR>19. Classic Clothing: Wearing Clothes you already have <BR>20. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence only Women notice <BR></P>/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-13303100056046257592007-12-03T13:45:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.334-07:004497.aspx<h3>Hers and his garage</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/55/r_garage1.jpg">/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-46301017251803538012007-12-01T07:40:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.314-07:004496.aspx<h3>The Perfect Man and the Perfect Woman</h3> Once upon a time, <BR> a perfect man and a perfect woman met. <BR> After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect <BR> wedding. Their life together was, of course, <BR> perfect. <BR> <BR> One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect <BR> couple was driving their perfect car along a <BR> winding road, when they noticed someone at the <BR> side of the road in distress. Being the perfect <BR> couple, they stopped to help. <BR> <BR> There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of <BR> toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on <BR> the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded <BR> Santa and his toys into their vehicle. <BR> <BR> Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. <BR> Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated <BR> and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an <BR> accident. <BR> <BR> Only one of them survived the accident. <BR> Who was it? <BR> <BR> * scroll down for the answer * <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who <BR> really existed in the first place. Everyone knows <BR> there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing <BR> as a perfect man. <BR> * Women stop reading here, that is the end of <BR> the joke. * <BR> * Men keep scrolling. * <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, <BR> the woman must have been driving. This explains <BR> why there was a car accident. <BR> By the way, if you're a woman and you're <BR> reading this, this illustrates another point: <BR> women never listen either. /egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-68948836161967272992007-11-30T13:01:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.305-07:004495.aspx<h3>Be polite</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/55/r_Malaysian_signs1.jpg">/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1787023153190809075.post-78447213612798719492007-11-29T13:20:00.000-08:002010-03-21T01:50:04.298-07:004494.aspx<h3>Steep hill</h3> <IMG src="http://text2blogger.appspot.com/static/CrapAndCrapability/Images/55/r_Malaysian_signs2.jpg">/egilhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07640311410701852519noreply@blogger.com0