Swear yourself impotent?
"We then looked at heavy swearers, and found whenever men use these words in their daily life, this immediately leads to sexual dysfunctions, i.e. impotence. If a woman uses these words in her daily speech, she slowly begins transforming into a man, getting more hair and muscles."
The again, they did the research on how swearing affects water not wood:
The shocking revelation comes courtesy of Gennady Cheurin's team at the Yekaterinburg Centre for Ecological Safety and Survival. Cheurin made the discovery after conducting ground-breaking research into the effect of bad language on water. The theory goes that water can be influenced by "negative vibes", and the team spent several hours hurling abuse at a glass of the stuff. This Devil's liquid was then sprinkled on wheat seeds - of which just 48 per cent subsequently germinated. Seeds favoured with water from natural springs, on the other hand, enjoyed a 93 per cent germination rate.
Maybe they should have tested the guys for bad breath instead?